the birthday high.

You know what I’m talking about; that incredible, euphoric, happy-go-lucky feeling you have the week before, the week after, and especially the day of YOUR day – the day you were born ump-teen years ago, duhh. The sensation you get when you’ve felt so much love and warmth radiate towards you through all of the birthday wishes and letters of affection. The uplifting words of positivity you receive from loved ones, friends, work colleagues, (even the occasional Facebook friend you still don’t know how you became friends with in the first place) — all for you on your special day.

The reason for this post is because my birthday was two days ago (insert party popper emoji here), and let me tell you; the love and happiness vibrating throughout my heart  and soul this past week has been unrealllllll. Still, two days later I have a “permanently” plastered smile on my face and the conversations at work always revolve around how awesome my birthday was — and it was.. awesome.

When people ask how your day was and you reiterate how genuinely incredible it was.. from the dinner with your lovey to all of the flowers and kisses you received: basically telling them how extremely spoiled you were on your day — and how wanted and celebrated you felt.

Although, the birthday high, it seems, is always followed by that downfall — I guess you could call it a birthday crash. The feeling you get when you realize you’re a whole year older – and maybe not that much wiser? The way you feel when you realize you’re one more year closer to the end, whenever that may be (I know, I know depressing, but we’ll get back to the good stuff in a couple more lines, bare with me). Then the feeling of doubt creeps into your mind..

“Am I ACTUALLY doing something important with my life?”

“How have I lived 20 years on this earth and not changed the world?”

“How do I still not know my algebraic equations????”

But then after you have a little bit of “Woa is me” time; you realize you’re right where you’re supposed to be at that point in time.

How do you know this? All of those people who wished a happy birthday, wrote letters of encouragement and love, made your day magical; they ensure this. Those exceptional human beings that took time out of their day to send you wishes of happiness and love see what you might not see; that you are doing incredible. With whatever cards you were dealt in this life, with wherever you’re at – going to school, trying to find a career path, working 20 hour days just to make ends meet, going 10 years into the career of your dreams, traveling the world working odd jobs to make the pay to buy train tickets, or retired living on a house boat – those people see that you’re doing the best you can and are trying every day to better yourself. Those people see the best in you and encourage you to make it another year, and another, then another.

Now that’s the high after the birthday high. When you’ve gone through the, “OMG IT’S MY B-DAY!!!” feeling, then soon after the, “WOW how am I this old & not on Gandhi’s level yet???”

THIS, this is the fierce high.

When you realize how truly incredible you are; no matter how you attained this feeling. Knowing all of that euphoric love and happiness CAN last until your next birthday, then the next, and the next. That all of those people are there for you year-round, not just on September 2nd (or whenever your b-day is… but hey elbow bump if you’s a virgo too). When you feel that sense of empowerment purely because you are a whole year older. The realization you survived one more year  of trials and tribulations. Noticing your growth in the past year – spiritually, mentally, maybe even physically – whether it be big or small, growth is growth. Realizing that your life is a blessing. Understanding that no matter where you’re at, or what direction you’re headed in – you’re where you’re meant to be on your ump-teenth year.

birthday

with all the happiness and positive vibrations sent your way,

takayl, bona fide

xx

 

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